MonkeyPhish

thank you for the update, crazyfoo. i enjoy reading your words. as for me, i still really hate myself and everyone around me with the exception of a precious few. i don't care to go into it.

tomorrow is my birthday. i wish i could just skip over that one day 'cause i don't care. another day .. another year closer to death.

i could go play call of duty 2 on my xbox360 which is hooked into a 30" samsung hdtv .. but i don't feel like it right now. i could also play on my psp, ds and/or playstation2. again, whatever. recently i've purchased katamari and dragon quest viii for the playstation2. sonic rush and mariokart for the ds. i doubt i'll finish any of them. or even get past the first half hour of play. all i do anymore is spend money and balance my checkbook and credit accounts.

i got a call from the ex i spent so many months hating myself over. i was at work so i missed the call but she left a message saying she just wanted to say hi. it was so nice hearing her voice again .. i really hope i don't fall on my face again with stupid unobtainable dreams. i don't really feel any anger toward her anymore .. i don't really feel anything.

i think i'm going to watch firefly. i picked up the dvd set at work today. i enjoyed the movie that was based off this series so i suppose i'll enjoy this.

one more thing, leslie .. i don't even know if you read this anymore but i'm sorry about what i said (didn't say) the other day. it's nothing you've done. something just snaps when i start thinking too much about things i have no control over. for now it's probably best we part ways until i can be happy with the choices we've both made.

Posted by soundgard at 09:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

wow, it's been a while since i've updated. thanksgiving was decent, as i ate a lot of food and then had a fun night with a few friends. however, in general, i still hate life and i become more jaded daily.

i am really not looking forward to my surgery in a few weeks. it's not that i'm scared, but i am kinda trying to treat every day until then as if it's my last. i know this is a horrible attitude, but this is what my brain feels like doing currently.

yeah, i've still been smoking a lot of weed.

Posted by crazyfoo at 04:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Mario Unleashed

Posted by crazyfoo at 11:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

lets see .. what have i been up to? well, i started smoking cigarettes for one. also have a can of "smokeless tobacco". recently i've been eating one meal a day consisting of either burger king or wendys. somewhat slacking at work. sleeping more than usual. i noticed earlier while i was smoking in the back yard how nice of a day it was. afternoon. overcast and dark. calm breeze. now all i can do is listen to lounge music and read the captions on the tv.

on a side note, i picked up legend of heroes for psp and the remastered akira dvd at gamestop. haven't touched either yet. waiting on my psp to charge. i may go out in the yard and play it.

i need more drugs

Posted by soundgard at 05:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

ate a fortune cookie earlier. "a window of opportunity won't open itself" .. no shit. that's why i'm working at best buy. i ate the fortune cookie with chocolate milk.

i don't have much to say and don't want to say much. nothing has changed in the past couple months. nothing will change in the next couple months.

bye

Posted by soundgard at 12:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

friday and fucking saturday of next week are going to blow. i'll be working for-fucking-ever doing "holiday training" along with my normal shift which are full days in themselves. i'll get home around midnight friday (--> saturday) and have to wake up at 5am.

gun.

Posted by soundgard at 12:17 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

i know.

Posted by soundgard at 10:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

well, i guess i don't have a lot to say.. hence the lack of updates. my surgery is scheduled for december 20th. sigh. i am nervous, but i am anxious to get it out of the way and over with. maybe after that i'll even feel better. :)

school is getting bunk bag. i am so sick of it, even though i'm only taking 2 classes. i guess this happens every semester around this time of year.

charles, you should update more often.

Posted by crazyfoo at 07:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Denver Votes To Abolish Pot Penalties

fuck yeah.

Posted by crazyfoo at 07:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

.. local h was awesome, but besides that, i am very down.

i wish i wasn't so alone. maybe my luck will eventually change.

Posted by crazyfoo at 12:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

soundgard18: i wanna make some pudding and then have sex with it
Mr ZMaster: chocolate, vanilla, butterscotch, or tapioca?
soundgard18: vaginal tangerine

Posted by crazyfoo at 05:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

so i guess i'll be having my surgery around december 20th. looks like i'm gonna miss christmas with big c. sigh. my life doesn't ever do much to improve. i've been smoking a lot of reefer, lately.

halloween was somewhat entertaining. ross's party had a led zeppelin cover band. that was sweet.

Posted by crazyfoo at 11:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)