do not read this. please.
seriously, if you have any respect for me, close this window. i just have to say a few things in a semi-public venue to feel better.
i'm a fuck-up. failure. loser. i should kill myself but i don't have the balls to do it. i want impossible things. the only reason they're impossible is because i have no faith in myself. i don't think i have anything to offer anyone. i don't stand up or fight for things because i realize that there are better options. options that don't have anything to do with me. take for example me not being in any relationship. it's mostly because i /realize/ i have nothing to offer. it would be a lie if i said i didn't care. but that's what i say anyway. because i avoid conflict. but instead of facing myself or whatever issues i have i avoid. like i said, i'm a loser and if i don't change i'm going to be alone until i die.
but i don't care.