post dex
i've learned a lot in the past couple days. for one, i love dxm. i can't wait until my next dose. second, i came to a couple realizations. the problem, though, is that i don't know if i'll do anything about them. it made a lot of sense when i was lying in bed feeling the power of heaven breeze against my body but now i'm questioning the validity.
one thing i saw was a girl i've loved for a long time but tossed away like so much trash. i've felt like shit about it for a long time but chose to ignore it because i thought it was the best thing .. and i still do in a way. but when the funny white powder was playing dodgeball with the nerves in my brain .. i started to think about what-if's and what-could-be's. doing that now makes me depressed as usual but for that couple of hours i was really happy .. maybe cause i convinced myself that they weren't simply "if" but actually true.
i also found an easy way to take away the bad things in my life. for a moment i saw my life as a series of pieces of .. string .. for lack of a better word. imagine a black space with a floating piece of fabric .. white cloth or something .. and rising from it is thread from that cloth and each represents a part of life. i could actually see what each one represents and cut it away. it was a very strange.
i believe i only made it to the first part of the second plataeu. i'm hoping to fly up to the third next time. my last dose was 540mg .. next will be 1080mg.
long live youth and drug society.